The Fangs of Lust - Or, Why Lily Likes Romance Novels
by DeathandJunkfood
Summary: "Read to me," James said, and Lily sighed. "Esmeralda tried in vain to charm her silken dress closed. Alas! The frayed ribbon broke, and her buxom breasts spilled-" James tried in vain to muffle a snort. Lily lowered the book and glared. In which Lily tries to read, and James is troublesome.


_**Disclaimer... these characters belong to JKR.**_

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 _ **A.N. Written for The Houses Competition for Slytherin. Short story. Prompt: 'Reading'  
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"Go _away_ , James."

"I'm being a loving and affectionate husband."

"You're being a brat."

Lily kicked at James half-heartedly as he sprawled at her feet. It was a cold, rainy day, the sort that seeped into your bones and contrived to paint everything ghostly and grey. Inside the Potter cottage, golden light spilled out from the fire and the steam rising from a pot of tea spiralled to the ceiling.

Lily's lap was filled with books – a treatise on lycanthropy, a potions grimoire, and a trashy romance novel that featured a swooning witch and a strategically placed broomstick.

"Those look horrible," James observed bitterly from his place on the hardwood floor. Lily had finally succeeded in shoving him off the end of the overstuffed couch, and ignored him, pulling the romance novel up to cover her face.

"It's wonderful!" she protested. "It's terribly romantic – the vampire saves her from a _werewolf_."

" _Really_?" James asked breathily.

Lily ignored him some more.

"Read to me," he said finally, crawling back up onto the couch and pulling her feet into his lap. She was wearing reading glasses propped low on her nose – she'd always had weak eyes but she seldom wore the glasses. She said they were annoying. He said she was vain. Whatever the reason, he always found it endearing when she did wear them – like she was showing him a part of her that she didn't show anyone else. Also, it was nice that they had that in common. That they both had to watch the world through a protective layer.

"Read to me," he said again, and Lily sighed.

"Esmeralda tried in vain to charm her silken dress closed. Alas! The frayed ribbon broke, and her buxom breasts spilled-"

James tried in vain to muffle a snort. Lily lowered the book and glared.

"Sorry," he said hastily. "I think you were saying something about buxom breasts?"

"-Her buxom breasts spilled out. She tried to cover herself with her hands, roses rising in her cheeks as she blushed maidenly-"

"Is that even a word?" James interrupted, more to see Lily's glare than anything. She lowered her glasses to peer sternly down her nose.

""Allow me," Roberto said, averting his eyes like the gentleman he was. Esmeralda couldn't help the small thrill that went through her as he whirled his cloak off his shoulders and lowered it around hers, cold fingers finding the clasp at her throat. Her hands lowered, and she swallowed hard, looking up to meet his lustful gaze… she wanted him. And he wanted her."

James was quite proud of himself, all things considered. He'd gotten through five entire sentences without interrupting.

Lily stopped, even though he hadn't said anything.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well?" James repeated.

"Do you have anything to add? Sarcastic commentary? A wry interlude?"

James pantomimed zipping his lips shut and throwing away the key, grinning at her.

Lily kept reading.

Her feet were warm in his lap, covered in fuzzy socks, and he patted her leg absently as she read. Her voice rose and fell gently, twinning strangely with the fall of rain on the roof and the sound of the wind through the trees.

"His vampiric fangs glinted in the moonlight before descending on the tender flesh of her inner thigh – pleasure raced through Esmeralda's curvaceous body-"

"Did he just _bite her leg_?"

"In a _sensual_ manner," Lily informed him loftily. She sipped her tea, regarding him owlishly over her specs.

James raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure it felt very – pleasurable?" Lily tried.

James set his hands on her ankles, starting to slide his body up over her legs.

"Oh no," Lily said. "No, we're not re-enacting a scene from-"

She reached out to grab to book and squinted at the cover. "The Fangs of Lust."

"I'm pretty sure I have some fake vampire teeth left over from Halloween."

Lily winced.

"What happened to 'pleasurable'?"

"Okay – but it would _suck_ in real life-"

"Ha," James said. "Suck."

"It would – it's just for fun, that I read this crap. I don't have a middle ground James, it's this or – 'A Short Treatise On the History of Lycanthropy and Cures Attempted Through the Ages: A Work of Non-Fiction Delving Into the Lives of European Werewolves."

"Quite the mouthful."

"You know what I mean – I can't read anything remotely normal. No murder mysteries or light biographies – it's all or nothing."

"I wouldn't call this nothing," James said, picking up 'The Fangs of Lust'. "You have to be quite dedicated to read this with a straight face – it's almost impressive."

Lily pulled a dreadful face, her glasses slipping lower. They were fogged with steam from her tea and James removed them, polishing them gently with his sleeve before replacing them and pulling Lily into a kiss.

It was warm and comforting, the perfect kiss for a rainy day. Lily sighed into his mouth, their glasses clicking together as she leaned back on the couch arm. Most of her books slid off of her lap onto the floor, but one remained, the sharp corner pressing into James' hip.

"Ouch – Evans, your books are trying to murder me."

Lily ignored him, tangling her fingers through his hair and tugging lightly. Their lips slid together almost lazily, fever hot with tea and the fire that painted the air in golden streaks, the books lying forgotten on the floor.

"This is the best story I can think of," Lily murmured, releasing him for a moment.

James smiled at her softly, slipping off her glasses.

"Me too. But 'The Fangs of Lust' run a close second."

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 _ **A.N. Thanks for reading! Please review! Also I'd like to offer my apologizes to those who actually read these sorts of romance novels.**_


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